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New Address

July 22, 2010

Hey guys, I moved over to Our Mellifluous Life.
Thanks for stopping by over there.

Photo credit: Moon de la Rose



July 17, 2010

“If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” ~Mary Engelbreit.

For years, I have had an opinion about something.  I clung to that opinion with all of my being because I was right.  I was fairly well educated  about the topic about which I had formed an opinion. But I refused to see things from a slightly different angle.  You know how when you look through a kaleidoscope and you tilt it some, you see a totally different image?  Well that’s what has happened to me. Someone tilted my kaleidoscope.

You see I was convinced that Thing X was just not right.  Someone had tried to tell me that a different image was possible, but because I was right, there couldn’t possibly be another image in my kaleidoscope.  But then I started reading things from people who knew the new image was possible. (Damn, that love of reading I have!)  They had seen the image themselves. And more importantly, God told me that the image was possible.

Photo by Ice and Snow

Then I blew Someone’s mind:  I told that certain someone that perhaps they were right.  I didn’t want to tell them, of course, because..well, I was right.  After telling them, I suddenly felt as though I had lifted a small barrier from between us and things were going to be different from now on.

And in keeping with my nature, I had to keep on reading about Thing X because I found it fascinating.  Shockingly, last night, I saw something in the kaleidoscope image that I hadn’t seen before – even when I was telling this person that they were right I was denying that this aspect of the image was possible.

Perhaps there is some aspect of a situation you aren’t seeing.  Tilt the kaleidoscope a bit and re-evaluate it – you never know what you will see.

PS – Someone, again, you were right.  Just wait till I tell you  about the aspect of the image I saw!  It’ll blow your mind.

Photo by GetNikki

David Bowie

I still don’t know what I was waiting for
And my time was running wild
A million dead-end streets
Every time I thought I’d got it made
It seemed the taste was not so sweet
So I turned myself to face me
But I’ve never caught a glimpse
Of how the others must see the faker
I’m much too fast to take that test

(Turn and face the strain)
Don’t want to be a richer man
(Turn and face the strain)
Just gonna have to be a different man
Time may change me
But I can’t trace time

I watch the ripples change their size
But never leave the stream
Of warm impermanence and
So the days float through my eyes
But still the days seem the same
And these children that you spit on
As they try to change their worlds
Are immune to your consultations
They’re quite aware of what they’re going through

(Turn and face the strain)
Don’t tell t hem to grow up and out of it
(Turn and face the strain)
Where’s your shame
You’ve left us up to our necks in it
Time may change me
But you can’t trace time

Strange fascination, fascinating me
Changes are taking the pace I’m going through

(Turn and face the strain)
Oh, look out you rock ‘n rollers
(Turn and face the strain)
Pretty soon you’re gonna get a little older
Time may change me
But I can’t trace time
I said that time may change me
But I can’t trace time

Why Can’t We All Just Get Along?

July 17, 2010

Today, out of sheer habit, I visited Plinky.  The prompt was:  The world would be a better place if….That’s funny because I was just thinking about writing a blog about how one aspect of my world has changed and how things are better for it.

See,  our household deals with two alternate households: the girls’ mom and Abby’s dad.  Used to be, when either of them were mentioned, things automatically got tense.  It seemed as though we were always battling one or the other at any given time.  Things were never calm around here.  There was always some sort of drama going on.

With the girls’ mom, it was always a court battle on the horizon or some battle of tempers between her and Keith.  With Abby’s dad it was… well we didn’t speak. Not as in “We aren’t friends and don’t like each other so we don’t chit chat.”  We literally did not speak unless it was absolutely necessary.  Abby would ride the bus home from school to his house on Fridays and then ride the bus back to school on Monday.  We never had to have any dealings with each other and to be honest, I think that was all on him. I knew that we had to speak for the well-being of our child but he didn’t see it that way.

About a year and a half ago, Abby’s dad and I went to court.  We were ordered into counseling with Abby and at some point, a switch was turned and we started speaking for Abby’s sake.  About the same time, Keith and his ex ended one of their ongoing battles and it was like a weight was lifted.  We could all be in the same room with each other and make eye contact.

Abby’s dad and I talk about once every two weeks.  I keep him abreast of things happening at school, whether or not there are any boys on the horizon, attitude problems I am having, etc.  He actually kept Abby – happily – while we were in Haiti.  For someone who couldn’t be bothered with even his court ordered time with his child, this was a huge deal.

Keith and the girls’ mom talk about once a week.  There’s always a question or something that arises that warrants a phone call.  Now that summer is in full swing, I end up talking to her probably every three days.  We aren’t best friends, but she is my friend on Facebook now.  Quite a change from a year ago, eh?

All this to say, my world is much better because we all get along now.  Is there someone in your life that you could attempt to get along better with in an effort to make your situation better?  Next time you go to make some biting remark, think about how much better my world is and then think twice about taking a jab.

Funeral Plans?

July 15, 2010

I plan my funeral.  How bizarre is that?

I used to sit and dream up this part and that part of it.  Then I found a website called My Wonderful Life and they have templates for funeral planning and suggestions for your funeral and a place to store it all online.  How cool for a freak like me. Now I can keep track of all my plans!

Do you ever wonder what people are going to say at your funeral – or even if people will come?  I do.  Mostly my family though. I’m not really that close to my family.  I know they would be upset if I died, but could they speak about me at my funeral?  They don’t really know me anymore.  That’s pretty sad, isn’t it?

What about your friends ?  Which of them are close enough friends to take time off work to come see you for one last time?

What if I have planned out this whole funeral and no one sticks to my plans? It’s not like I am going to come back to earth and haunt someone who didn’t get the right flowers.    But I would like the general idea of my funeral to be adhered to.   How do you know the people you entrust your plans to will follow them out?

See, I told you I obsess over it.

While you ponder your own funeral, I will leave you with my playlist for my funeral:

  • Love You Till the End , The Pogues

What would be on your playlist?

I Just Had to Share This…

July 15, 2010
tags: ,

Katie is obsessed with the word “pie”.  She talks about pie non-stop.  If you ask her where she wants to go, the answer is “pie”.  She giggles insanely when she says the word and I am beginning to wonder about her sanity.

So I walk into the bathroom just a minute ago.  And the shower curtain is pulled back.  (Which I hate, by the way.) And there on the wall is this…. piece of art… made out of bath crayons.

Vampires, Werewolves and Preteens! Oh My!

July 12, 2010

Friday was Emily’s birthday party.  It was a Twilight themed party.  She had invited 10 people.  I was kinda worried because so many kept backing out at the last minute.  Then she (and I) invited more at the last minute, so we ended up with seven instead of the ten, so that was cool.  My eardrums are still sore from the seven that did come.

I try to surprise the girls with something regarding their parties each year – theme, the party itself, cake, etc.  This time, I kept the decorations a secret.  I found some awesome signs at  Hostess With the Mostess.   They were quotes from the movies printed out on really cool backgrounds.  I had those in picture frames all over the house.  I actually made one:

It says:  About three things, I was absolutely positive.  First, Emily was turning nine.  Second, she thirsted for a Twilight birthday party – and Edward Cullen.  And third, I unconditionally and irrevocably loved her and would try to make her happy.

I had everything (the tablecloth, cups, napkins, etc) in black or red and had tons of white candles with red wax dripped on them.  There were white Christmas lights laid out and red streamers hung.  It really looked great, I think (and so does everyone who saw it).  I have pictures, but they don’t do it all justice:

The cupcakes weren’t out of a book this time, I found them online too.  They were Vampire Bite cupcakes:

They were marshmallow frosting topped with Cherry filling – to give it the authentic bloody feel.

The girls had a blast.  Three of the girls can never get together again – they were so loud.  Emily made up many games for them to play – all of them having to do with vampires or werewolves or both.  Plays on tag and sharks and minnows and the like.  They went through four pizzas, two family size boxes of mac and cheese – “shells, please” and two tons of chips and fruit snacks.

I felt like I spent the rest of the weekend cleaning. In reality, I spent Saturday and Sunday evening cleaning and Saturday afternoon helping Keith hang shutters.  Our house looks much better. Who knew that shutters would add so much to a house.

Sunday after everyone left from Simple Lunch, we attempted to go to the pool.  We drove all the way out to Harrison Bay to use their pool (Keith wanted to ride the bike a decent distance and I just wanted something not so close).  We paid the fee to get in and the girls jumped in.  Keith and I were applying sunscreen when they closed the pool because some kid (I hope it was a kid) decided it would be a good idea to … errr… go to the bathroom in the pool. They were cleaning feces out of the pool.  Woohoo.  So that trip was wasted.

We did watch The Wolfman last night – which was much better than I thought it would be.  I really enjoy Anthony Hopkins and his role as the father in this film didn’t disappoint me.  The story revolves around Lawrence, who returns to his ancestral home to look into the disappearance of his brother.  Turns out, brother has been killed by something.  Something that terrorizes the town and is pretty danged strong.

After a pretty busy weekend, I feel pretty good.  We had some good family time listening to Abby fill us in on her Creation trip and looking at pictures, we spent some quality time together, enjoyed a movie, got some stuff accomplished and had a pretty rockin’ birthday party.

I’d say the weekend was a success.  Now just to make the week just as successful.

Lightening Crashes

July 12, 2010

I visited Plinky again this morning for inspiration for my blog.  I didn’t need to go there. I already had the inspiration, I just had filed it away in the back of my head for “one day” use. 

The topic was “If you could go back and relive one day of your life, which one would it be? And why?”  And it just so happens that a few weeks ago, I wanted to blog about the day I would relive.

See my answer is easy: the day Abby was born.  Why?  Because my memory is so bad I don’t always remember everything.  I want to remember every detail so I can share it with her one day. 

Recently, I have been reading this chick’s blog and she is sharing her three children’s birth stories and I kept thinking “Wow, if I could remember all the details about Abby’s birth, I would blog about that.”  Then I got this prompt today and I realized, I don’t really have to have all the details. I can blog what I remember and have that to give to her.


On June 21, 1995 I went into the hospital a scared pregnant girl and came out four days later a mother – still scared, of course!  I had been going to the hospital for days for an induction procedure.  That didn’t work.  So the doctor admitted me to the hospital so he could try something else to help Abby  come along.  Abby, in Abby style, took her sweet time.

Knowing that I wouldn’t eat in the hospital, my mom was kind enough to fix a huge Taco Salad for me for dinner the evening before I was to go in the hospital.  We spent that evening watching movies, but for the life of me, I can’t think of what a single one was.  I want to say Christian Slater was in one of them but there is no way of knowing for sure.

I made it into the hospital and got signed in, no problem.  The room was a birthing room instead of a delivery room. It’s my understanding birthing rooms are  common now but then, it was a big deal to have a birthing room.  As soon as I was settled in the room, the nurses started an IV of Pitocin to help speed things up (by this point, I was already two weeks overdue). 

I’ll be honest, there isn’t a whole lot to tell about the next couple of days: I spent them lying in bed or walking the halls of the hospital hoping to bring on some labor.  I was having contractions the whole time, but nothing really bad.  My mom did a lot of talking to try and calm me down – I was a nervous wreck and incredibly excited all at the same time.  The TV was on 24/7 – mainly because my little brother was at the hospital and needed entertaining – and I remember a childhood friend was in the news for murdering someone.  My brother played a few mean hands of gin rummy with me to pass the time away. I didn’t pick up a book the whole time – probably the longest I have ever gone. 🙂

The day of the 24th, the doctor came in at some point (on his way to go golfing – no joke) and told me to get ready for a C-section at 6AM the next morning. My best friend, Kristy, and her mom came for a visit, followed by my grandmother.  My mom walked my grandmother to the car finally (everyone coming in and oohing and ahhing over you can get old) and I got up to head to the bathroom, pulling my IV along behind me when BAM! A gushing came out from between my legs that I couldn’t stop.  I really thought I was just peeing.  I stood there for a couple of minutes and the nurse came in and said, “Oh honey! Let’s get you to bed.”  Why I couldn’t have stayed up, I don’t know.

The next few hours passed in a blur.  I was in hard core labor for 7 hours.  The contractions were coming hard and fast by this point – before they were just minor hiccups compared to this. This was the real deal.  I remember cussing like I have never cussed, hitting my mother, telling her I hated her and of course, cussing Abby’s dad like there was no tomorrow.  I assume most women have something nasty to say to the fathers of their children long about this point (except for those saintly ones who keep it all in) but I know I gave him an extra double dose of cussing since he wasn’t around during all this. After a few hours, nothing was happening.  I heard whispers and mutters from the nurses.  If things didn’t speed up, I might be on the operating table come morning. 

But, like I said, Abby does things on her own time table.  She was finally born on June 24, 1995 at 8:32 PM after all the pushing and grunting – details of which I will spare you.  She was born to the song, “Lightening Crashes” by Live.  Pretty appropriate, I think.  She was a perfect 21 inches long (she was destined to tower over me), 8 lbs. 10 oz.  (big baby!!) and had all ten fingers and toes.  Perfect!

Now you see why I wouild relive the day over: so many details are missing!  I know, a lot of them are omitted for all you squeamish people and, honestly, who wants to read all the details of a birth story? Maybe I should have filled in one of those baby books I had on hand (one Peter Rabbit and one…. oh heck, I don’t remember!)  that to this day are big empty white pages.

Maybe one day, God will bless me with sudden clarity of the day.  He has done it before.  Why not now?

I will leave you with words to Abby’s song. 

“Lightning Crashes” by Live

lightning crashes, a new mother cries
her placenta falls to the floor
the angel opens her eyes
the confusion sets in
before the doctor can even close the door

lightning crashes, an old mother dies
her intentions fall to the floor
the angel closes her eyes
the confusion that was hers
belongs now, to the baby down the hall

oh now feel it comin’ back again
like a rollin’ thunder chasing the wind
forces pullin’ from the center of the earth again
I can feel it.

lightning crashes, a new mother cries
this moment she’s been waiting for
the angel opens her eyes
pale blue colored iris,
presents the circle
and puts the glory out to hide, hide